awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
