hell yes lets make some ravioli
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
