Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Of course I have a pirate flag
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
