idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
