you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
