Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
high people should be assigned attendants
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
