I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
