I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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