hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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