do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
