Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
