Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
