Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
