So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
