wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
