before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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