Nicole vs. Life
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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