'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
