Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
