How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
