JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize