We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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