and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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