Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
