I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So much Jack, so little girl.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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