you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
