so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
