He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
