Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize