I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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