I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
