I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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