its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize