I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have grass duct taped all over my body
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
