Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
