butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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