What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
