I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
