The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
