Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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