When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
