Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
