I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
