i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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