Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
