That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
