I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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