Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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