I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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