I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
