next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
