This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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