YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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