i don't like sucking hair
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
