He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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