my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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