bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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