she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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