One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
