i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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