I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
