Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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